Weddings are a time to bring family and friends together to celebrate your love and new chapter in life, but it can be difficult to decide who can and cannot come to your wedding. To begin planning, you should decide on how many people you can invite. (If you already have a venue in mind look at the amount of people that value can hold). Create rules and limitations for your guest list to avoid offending family members. Finally, writing multiple lists can help you maximize the number of people who can come. With some patience and careful consideration, soon you will have your guest list ready for invitations.
Even if you’re not sure on the specific figure, you can determine roughly what size of wedding you want. This will help you get quotes from caterers and venues while allowing you to figure out the specific number later. Some people decide just to invite immediate family members and a few close friends. A small wedding is generally around 50-75 people. The average wedding is around 150 people. A large wedding is 200 people or more.
Keep your budget in mind. The most basic and easiest way to decide on how many people you can invite is to look at how many people you can afford to invite. This one is simple, the more people you invite, the more expensive the reception and ceremony will be. If you have the luck of parents chipping in, find out how much each couple is contributing. Factor that into how much you and your partner can afford to spend. Get a few quotes from local caterers to see how much the reception may cost per person. Remember to factor in drinks and cake as well. Catering should take up about 25% of your budget.
Size of the venue. The number of people you can invite may be decided by where you have your wedding, if you already set a venue before your guest list. If you have your heart set on a particular venue, ask them how many people they can hold. Please do not invite more than this number, the risk is that you may find yourself scrambling to fit everyone.
Children or not. Some people prefer to have a childfree wedding because they worry kids will be loud or disrupt the ceremony. Others feel that a wedding is a big family event and that children are of course part of the family. There is one more option to have children only attending the reception. You must understand that some guests may choose not to come if their children are not invited. If you want a childfree or not for the ceremony I definitely recommend to set an age limit to decide whether you are inviting teenagers or not. This could be as young as 12 or as old as 18 it’s all up to you to choose.
Plus one. Who will be allowed to bring a guest or will everyone be allowed, that’s a decision for you to make. If you don’t have the space for all of your friends to bring an extra person, you might want to skip the option to bring a date on the invitation. By that said, if you have a friend who is in a long term relationship or married, then you should invite their partner as well. Keep these info with you when counting your guest list.
Put your guests into different groups. When planning, create four or more groups of people you are considering. Next number these groups by their priority. Here is an example, it might be more important to you to invite close friends than extended family members. Here are the typical four groups:
Immediate family members
Extended family members
Close friends
Work mates or colleagues
Establish rules with your family. Your parents and your partner’s parents may have their own ideas about who to invite, this is very normal. Let them know upfront what kind of wedding you want. Tell them how many people they can invite. Don’t forget to be firm about your boundaries, they must understand that they need to follow these rules. Here are some rules you may want to consider:
Only invite people you’ve talked to in the last year.
Friends of the couple have priority over friends of the parents.
Certain estranged family members may not be invited.
Next step. Start by writing two lists, the first list is the people you absolutely want to invite. By that I mean family members, close friends, or other special people. The second is your back-up list , yes a back-up list. The backup-list is the list of people you would like to invite but don’t have space or the budget for. It’s simple, if a person from the first list declines,then go ahead and invite a person from the back-up list. I recommend to assume that approximately 20 percent of your invited guests will not be able to attend. Which means that you can have at least this number on your back-up list. This will help you maximize the number of guests who can come to your wedding and spots won’t go to waste.
Last edit. Before you go ahead and send anything out, take a second look and edit to make sure that you are not inviting any more people than your absolute maximum. If you want to cut guests, start by going from the lowest priority guests (colleagues, distant family members, family friends you might not know) and up to the highest on the list.
Set a date when the backup guests will be invited. There need to be enough time for them to be able to come, you don't want to send out anything last minute. Make sure that you send out your first round of invitations early enough so that you can send out a second round later.
Consider inviting people to the reception only. Are you getting married in a small venue, are you struggling to fit all of your dear friends onto the list. I would say, consider having a separate guest list for the reception. It’s easy to explain, just say that you would love to have them at the wedding but that you are limited with space.
A good way to explain it is: “Our venue is so small that we cannot invite everyone we want to the wedding, but we would still love it if you could celebrate with us. You are welcome to join us at the reception.”
If you have a destination wedding, you may choose to have a reception in your hometown. You can invite all of the friends that could not attend the wedding to this celebration.